“Test Drive” – Not Written By… Kim Kardashian

After getting an advance payment on my new book “Selfish”, Kanye said I should treat myself.  I earned it!  That’s not selfish for me to be rewarded for my hard work.  Is it?  Nothing has ever come easy for me.  It was so hard to compile hundreds of my own selfies from over the years.  Not like I’m going to give away my book advance to charity or something!  My friend Reggie has been raving about her new Tesla Model S, and I love European stuff, so I decided to give it a test drive!

First impression, so sexy!  It looks great from every angle, just like me!  Even better, the Midnight Silver will matches perfectly with a Prada bag I just bought!  The vanity mirrors are great too.  But, I firmly believe that looks aren’t important at all.  If you’re comfortable, you’ll feel confident!  That’s the only thing that matters, confidence.  Speaking of comfortable, the inside is very nice too.  The back seat is big enough for my girls to hit the club with me.  Plus, there’s plenty of room for me to stretch out my arms, and take selfies of myself while I’m driving!  So fun!  That reminds me, did I mention I’ve got a new book that’s nothing but selfies of yours truly, Kim Kardashian?  It’s called Selfish!  Selfie is short for selfish, right?  Or, because it’s like a pic of your “self” or something.  It just shows how real I am.  I’m just like everyone else.

Anyways, back to the Tesla, I think the cutting edge technology really expresses my talent and business savvy.  Of course I’m nowhere near as amazing and talented as Kanye.  He’s so transcendent!  I don’t know what transcendent means, but he told me to say it as often as possible.  I’m getting off track again… It’s crazy how quiet the car is.  I think the Tesla runs on water or air or something.  I don’t know. But, I love the idea of never having to stop for gas!  Now those annoying paparazzi can’t harass me while my bodyguard pumps gas!  Kanye and I really value our privacy and obviously like to keep to ourselves.  So, the more we can stay out of the public eye, the better.

I love the car, and North seems to like it too, so I’m gonna buy it.  You should get one too, but only after pick up my new book!

– Not Written By… Kim Kardashian



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